#LoveIsTheAnswer

As i browsed through my Facebook feed, I saw this video with the title The Black Eyed Peas just decided the world needs the song "Where is the Love?" again. (Yes that was the whole title.) AGAIN. Got my attention. Good job copy writer. I was in the shuttle and I couldn't help but feel emotional bec of the photos in this video (though there were also some distraction. ehem. Kris Jenner. lol).

During the past few months, my newsfeed's been about all negative things that's been going on the world and it is depressing! With the Philippine election that had just passed and now the US election, most of what I see are continuous bashing from both sides. It's exhausting to read all these articles. Sometimes I would just think if people would just know about the gospel, this world would be so much better. It would be easier to love one another, forgive and look past the negativities of everyday life. I know I haven't heard the worst but when friends confide in me, all I think of is 'the gospel is the answer!' It all boils down to having charity towards one another. Like what the songs says, LOVE IS THE ANSWER.

PS: Video has no color. ;)

To be satisfied is to be grateful.

Can't believe my last post was almost 4 months ago! I totally forgot this part of my world existed. It was a crazy couple of months but it definitely felt like heaven was showering us with so much blessings! It is overwhelming when it involves so much time to prepare but when E taught FHE lesson two weeks ago, all of us - mama, mom, E and I are just so full of thanksgiving to Heavenly Father with all He has blessed us with.

Some of the things that had happened during the previous months:

1. Mexico City trip. We celebrated our 4th year anniversary with a short trip to Mexico City. This wasn't even possible if I didn't become addicted to collecting miles. Haha. We didn't pay a penny for our plane tickets, just taxes! I don't think  I will ever go back to paying cash for my plane tickets. ;) Collecting miles is fun, but it's even better when you reap the rewards of free flights. If you wanna know more about travel hacking, start here. I've read countless blogs about it but I think this one is the easiest to understand.

2. Mothers arrive in SF! It's my mom's first time in the US and Emil's mom's last time here was more than 10 years ago. It was such a great timing to also find a place to move to as they arrived so we will have enough room at home. E's mom's petition has been pending for such a long time. It was a taxing process - both financially and mentally to get her here so we are so glad that it has come to an end and she got to see ate and Ethan after almost 13 years. That's a very long time not to see family!
3. We moved upstairs! House hunting in San Francisco is very difficult especially if you have very limited budget but we sure are glad that by the time moms came, the apartment upstairs became vacant and within the price range we set.

4. Got to visit D.C. for E's training and meet with friends.

5. Attended Kuya Osel's wedding in Spokane WA Temple. Mama's reunion with Tita Nina and Tita Cybel after not seeing the former for almost 3 years and the latter for 17 years! Again, not possible if I didn't have miles! :)

After reading previous blog posts, I remembered President Eyring's thoughts on the importance of keeping a journal. I may not have a paper kind of a journal but this little corner of the www will serve as such. I do feel the Lord's hands in my life more when I read the blessings (and even the trials) that we are fortunate to experience. It is a blessing to have what we need and want, and more importantly, to know where these gifts come from. It brings so much satisfaction especially in this world where we see other people's "things" better than ours through the not-so-helpful (sometimes) social media. When we realize that we are blessed, we become grateful; when we become grateful, we become satisfied.

30 Days of Happy: Day 30 Why I am a Mormon.

I've been wanting to write a post about being a Mormon (or my testimony) for the longest time. I am quite unsure why I haven't gotten around doing it but I thought as an end to my happy days challenge, it was timely to do so. I taught the girls yesterday about conversion and it was a great discussion. There were questions that let in that they ARE listening even if sometimes I feel that they don't. haha As I prepared this lesson, I am reminded of my own conversion.

It is a common knowledge to friends and family that I was born in the church; in fact, all of us siblings are. Most people will associate my membership in the church to my parents but this conversion that I am to relate is my own silent story. It all began in the summer of 2005 (naks!), I just celebrated my birthday few months ago, all the wards are preparing for the Youth Conference and my senior year in high school will begin in a few weeks. I have been spending days that turn into weeks with the other youth from different wards as we prepare for the road show. I have always been an observant so I would pay attention to everything that is happening - how my fellow youth interacted with each other, with the leaders and just their overall activities during the few hours we were together (creepy much!? haha). There was no specific person that impressed me but all I thought before was that they were NICE. Such a boring word - nice. But they were. I guess one reason was that they grew up with each other and my family had just moved in the stake for just a few years then so I didn't have the closeness that they had with each other but looking in, it was really nice to look at. It got me curious. I suddenly learned that these kids are really active in church - attended Seminary, church, have a close relationship with their leaders and most importantly, read their scriptures. Na-curious ulit ako. Ako nga rin, I thought.

The first few times I finished reading the Book of Mormon

I got home one day after a road show practice and opened my Personal Progress booklet. One of the projects was to read Book of Mormon from start to finish so I chose that. Ang dami naman mas madali pero mahilig lang talaga ako pahirapan sarili ko. haha I finished it after almost a year. And my life would never be the same. I am getting emotional as I type this but I just don't know how to explain what happened, dear reader. All I know is that the Book of Mormon changed my life for the better. I don't know the how's but I do know that this book is given to man by God. Why can't we have more books that testify of Christ? I think the more, the better! In 2 Corinthians 13:1,

"In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established." 

We (Latter Day Saints aka Mormons) believe the Bible to be the word of God as long as it is translated correctly and we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God (Articles of Faith 1:8). The Bible is one witness that there is a God and I believe that the Book of Mormon is another witness that solidifies that truth. Two is better than one right?! Why can't there be another book that come from the Lord when the whole world was populated by people, not just Jerusalem. I am pretty sure they have spiritual experiences that they wanted to preserve and recorded as well. 

Ten years ago was when my conversion started and it was when I gained my own testimony of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints' truthfulness. I came to know that the Book of Mormon is true. It has the power to bring man closer to God. As what we've discussed yesterday, conversion is a process, not a single event; so I still have long ways to go but if there is one thing that I am grateful for eternally, that is the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

30 Days of Happy: Day 28-29

Day 28 (Friday): Only a 5-hr work day! WooOoo! That alone is something to be grateful for! Haha We had a work field trip scheduled today hence the lesser hours of work. We had a company picnic where they served awesome food (prime rib, carnitas etc. - how can someone be vegetarian?!).

Today, I am grateful for the pretty blue skies, delicious food and longer day to play. :)

Day 29 (Saturday) It was such a productive day! I listed some things to do for Emil and I so I can start decorating (or at least plan to decorate) for the holidays. I was able to get rid of all unwanted things in the house and find items that I've been looking for for a year now aka my Nikon charger. haha

We watched Heneral Luna in Union City (50 mins from SF) as well. Half way to the theaters, we learned that they are now showing it in Tanforan which is just 15 minutes away from where we live! So that was a little annoying...but I guess the ride with friends was fun too. We (mostly E) brought together people who didn't know each other: two from E's college in Pampanga, two people from BYUH, two friends from the ward and two people from PWC. We were kinda worried that people will stick to who they came with and not talk to the others but it was actually fun seeing all of them talk to each other and mingle.

30 Days of Happy: Day 25-27

Day 25: (Tuesday) Had an opportunity to serve and plan the ward FHE with E. One of my favorite things to do is to plan and organize events and I am so glad there are lots of opportunities to do this at church.

Day 26: (Wed) Grateful for a delicious lunch! As much as possible, I try not to eat out for lunch (I am kuripot this way) so I can splurge on other stuff. haha But last night, I didn't have the chance to cook our baon so I have no choice but to buy food today. Conveniently, this truck parks right in front of our office. 20 steps out the door and my lunch is served. :)

Day 27: (Thurs) Every time I go to a doctor, I feel like I am robbed! Dropping money for advice like "Don't use your right hand for a week" or "Yes, it is overused" drives me so mad because I already know those things and I want to hear something else that can help me relieve the pain! Ugh.

Photo from sanfranciscodays.com

Anyway, the doc's office was located in the Noe Valley neighborhood so I got to roam around by myself. I know now that I am an introvert; something that I didn't want to label myself until I knew for sure but I as I've observed these past couple of years, it is unquestionable. haha So I really do value my alone times like this one: walking around and thinking to myself. I was strolling for almost an hour and it was nice to get to know the city where I live even more. There are just so many things too see! I can't believe we've been here for almost two years now. Oh, how times passes you by so fast; even faster than Joey Tribbiani's relationships, if you would call it that. haha

Are you an introvert too? Check out this article from Buzzfeed. It may not be applicable to everybody but it pretty much sums up what goes through our heads when placed in situations stated:

1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome. I thought it was just me!!!

2. You go to parties - but not to meet people. I wont even go if I don't know anyone.

3. You often feel alone in a crowd. Yes!

4. Networking makes you feel like a phony. Yes! Yes! Yes! So when I heard the saying "It's not what you know but who you know," I thought, patay na ako. haha

5. You've been called "too intense." I haven't been told this. Or maybe just not to my face yet.

6. You're easily distracted. Not really.

7. Downtime doesn't feel unproductive to you. Downtime all weekend long!

30 Days of Happy: Day 24

Photo from giphy.com

Heavenly Father thank You for the rain! It may seem little to others but California has been experiencing drought for months now. We even fasted as a stake twice (if I remember it correctly) to ask for showers. We (the people of Cali, or maybe just us in SF) can't wash our cars ourselves (bring it to a car wash), can't water the lawn and we're even encouraged to let it brown.

I guess the saying "you never know what you got until it's gone" is quite true for me. Coming from the Philippines and then Hawaii, rain showers and even thunderstorms are normal so not having rainfall was odd. We even saw news reports of floods and storms in those two locations and we're just an ocean away from them so one may wonder bakit kami wala paring ulan? I took for granted the important sustenance it provides.

Above all, yesterday's rain reminded me that prayer and fasting really work. The fasting we did as a stake was done few months ago and only yesterday was it granted, but it was granted. Sometimes we may think that our supplications are not answered just because we didn't get it at the time we want but Heavenly Father's timing is and will ALWAYS be better than ours.

30 Days of Happy: Days 17-23

Day 17: Unsolicited compliment from my boss. *wink*

Day 18: E and I got to Skype with Ate Rhea, Ethan and mom for mom's birthday.

Day 19: Duterte is running?! If he really is, that is something to be grateful for indeed!

Day 20: Aimee's birthday celebration. Night spent with Emil's pinoy co-workers. Sushi time.

Day 21: Ward Christmas Party. Emcees. Last minute Google maps Halloween costumes. (I chose the Valencia-Mission area since it is my favorite part of the city thus far.)

all you need is a printer, scissors and tape! 

5pm: Got off  work.

5:20pm: Got to Michael's to buy tape. Lined up for 20 mins. for 1 item!!!

6pm: Got home.

6:40: Left home to go to church

(program was supposed to start at 6pm and we were the emcees! way to go mga late!)

6:50: Arrived safely despite battling the Friday night traffic. Thank goodness.

7pm: Started the program. Woohoo! Filipino time!

Day 22: Cara Bella. Walked around Marina. Afternoon nap. Lathrop overnight with Young Adults for Hershey's birthday.

Day 23: After church, the day was literally spent by eating, drinking (soda and water) and being merry. haha. All we did was eat and sleep! Thank you to the Segres who let us raid their pantry.

30 Days of Happy: Day 11-16

Day 11: ....zzzZZzzZz....

Day 12: Shout out to Dr. Dennis Gross. Whoever he is. haha

Day 13: 1. date night with E 2. Sephora (perfumes, perfumes and more perfumes!)

Day 14: Omg to the highest level! I am looking forward to this day for the entire week because it's already Saturday in the Philippines and it's the most awaited "Tamang Panahon!" Yes, you read that right. I am such a big fan! Actually, a first time fanatic. Yes, fanatic talaga! Like stalking-for-updates-every-day fanatic! Like ignoring-my-husband-at-home-to-watch-it-all-day-long fanatic! Not all the time pero almost narin. haha. I'm so glad I am not alone in this! Some friends and I had a viewing party which E supported though he doesn't understand my madness! I feel like I am not myself when I watch this show. (Shout out to people I respect na Aldub fans rin. haha)

It's been three days now since that episode but I can't get over the kilig overload! Aaahh!

Day 15: Went to Cara Bella then had a lunch date with E in Japan Town after driving around Pacific Heights. Goals ulit. Kahit $3,500 ang one bedroom. What now!? Wala namang masama mangarap. Thankful for the great weather today too!

Day 16: I am highly appreciative of Sabbath days. It is indeed a rest from all our labors. I wonder how we will be if we don't get at least a day of rest? Baka mas maraming sisa kung ganun. I was trying so hard to focus (and not check on Aldub updates. haha) and I was slightly triumphant. Slight lang coz I checked after services.

But! On the brighter note, I loved the testimonies I heard today from the speakers especially the first one given by Stan, a young men from our ward. His topic was about general conference but I was especially touched by his love and appreciation to his brother, Jeff (who's a friend as well) and Jeff's love for him for not giving up and kept pushing him to go to church. After his 5 year hiatus from church, he came back and is planning to serve a mission upon graduating high school. Am I glad to hear him say the words he said! I was honestly downhearted by what youth do these days but because of his testimony, I am reminded of the unending patience our Savior will always have for us. It is the same patience that Jeff showed Stan; the same patience we should be showing our loved ones who currently are on a different path than we would hope them to be on.

I sincerely relish the love that envelopes us when we accept the atonement of our Savior -- what I've seen from Stan yesterday. After all the busying during the weekdays, it was refreshing to be reminded why we actually do what we do, why we are here and where we are to go.

Love Sabbath days.

30 Days of Happy: Day 10

Wow! Seems like I just started this challenge not too long ago but I'm a third away from finishing it. Time does fly surely fast.

Naka-extra kami sa article ni Ate Kar. haha It's a good read. 

Check it out: Things We can Change about Pinoy Dating

30 Days of Happy: Day 7-9

Day 7: Oct. 16, 2015

I just bought our tickets to the Philippines! I'm so excited I just can't hide it! Sometimes I focus on how I hate my job. haha. But I am actually grateful that I even have a job that gives me an opportunity to meet our needs and wants. I am so excited to see our families! So excited I even got a countdown app to count the remaining days til we go home! :)

151 days nalang! 

Day 8: Oct. 17, 2015

A veeerrryyyy lazy day for me. Woke up at 8am bc I feel guilty (nowadays) to sleep in on a weekend. One of my entrepreneurship professors told us "you're not here on Earth to sleep" and it just stuck with me. But... after waking up, I cooked breakfast, watched House with E and then fell asleep again! How productive right?! After waking up (again), we decided to play tourists in our own city and drove around St. Francis Wood to admire the neighborhood and just goals you know? haha taas ng pangarap e! :)) We went to Richmond area and since E was craving, we went to Genki Crepes (one of the best in town imo), then hit a store that was having a sale since it was closing, to a pet store and then ran some errands. It was a slow errand day but I am sure glad I get to spend time with E given that we had crazy schedules over the past week. Today, I am grateful for TIME.

Day 9: Oct. 18, 2015

After church service, a couple of friends with E and I went to Ocean Beach to have a picnic. I thought of it just so we can have a change of pace; so we wont spend free time almost always at our place and watch and eat while the guys play PS4. The beach was on the other side of the city but I think it was worth going since it was a very nice weather when we got there. Before church started, I was kinda worried since the skies were dim but the sun eventually showed up after a few hours. It was really nice to spend time with friends and be in tune with nature. We had spam, adobo and pinakbet. E and I played the ukulele (but I am still learning) and it made us miss Hawaii so much! It was surely delightful to feel the cold ocean breeze and forgetting the worries of life for a little while. One of us even said, parang tinangay ng hanging yung mga problema niya when we got there. haha

Upon arriving home...

I: Nag-enjoy ka ba sa beach?
E: Okay lang. Hindi masyado.
I: Bakit?
E: Daming buhangin e. 
I: Wow! Daming buhangin sa beach? Talaga?!
E: *laughs at himself*

He was actually pertaining to the incident when sand got in some of our food. haha. Peace!

30 Days of Happy: Day 6

1. I enjoy long drives with great music. I took the longer route to home today and had a much needed 'me time.'

2. I am grateful for a loving husband who prepared dinner tonight and even washed the dishes. :)

Wait there's more!

How dare I forget how awesome tonight's Kalyeserye episode was?! I have never been so kilig like this. Only Aldub has the power to make me so. Yes I am a fan. I am always happy to see Pinoys united bc of all the emotions this TV show brings. Ang saya tignan ng mga taong masaya at mga taong nagpapasaya. 

30 Days of Happy: Day 5

Today is one of those days when I really need to be beyond mindful of the blessings in my life. Though I may be an optimist most of the time, most doesn't necessarily translate to everyday and today was just not a day of cheer. All I can think of are things I can't have. haha Now that I am recalling it, it may seem miniscule but I couldn't help but focus on the gloomy side of things. Ugh. 1. I wanted to get a dog but apparently can't and will be kicked out of our house if I do so secretly. Maybe not? How would they know?! Well, my conscience would know! Do I want it enough to move? Yeah yeah, "first world problem" as I would usually tell someone who's thinking of the same unimportant question. 2. A second business venture presented itself through my tatay but since we haven't finished the first one and seen its results yet, I can't just jump on the new chance. But if it's just up to myself, I would jump on it in a heart beat. haha Peace! (if you're reading this) Wanting to do it right away doesn't negate the reasons given to me not to though. :) So I really understand why we can't just yet. Really! Pramis! 

So how did I enliven my mindset after beating myself down bc of things I can't have right now? Kasi naman gusto agad agad?! Then I saw this on my FB page:

There is no harm in always trying to achieve goals we set for ourselves but let us not diminish the things that we already accomplished. I am reminded that though I can't get what I want right now, there are plenty of other beauties I am surrounded with that I should be grateful for. Sometimes we get so caught up with what needs to be done that we forget to stop and realize that we are alive, we are breathing, we have roofs over our head, there is food on the table and that we have people who love us dearly. These things alone make us RICH. Indeed, to be satisfied is to be grateful. 

So... Day 5: I am grateful for Facebook since I saw this photo there. I am grateful for Pres. Uchtdorf's pleasant words and I am much grateful for the basic things I need in life that I have. 

30 Days of Happy: Day 4

Day 4: Books that I've been waiting for finally arrived. 

Sometimes, getting spoiled by Amazon Prime shipping makes 

me impatient; these didn't ship through them

but I'm sure glad they arrived on time. 

"Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection."

30 Days of Happy: Day 3

I had a list of jobs I wanted to apply for.
Got the #3 on the list just today. Yay me!
Getting closer to #1!

30 Days of Happy: Day 2

I tagged my girl friends on Facebook to join me in my 30 Days of Happy and I already read some of them post the reasons they are grateful today. I am excited to see more!

Day 2 was a Sunday. I was assigned to teach the Young Women of the church (ages 12-17) about How can I become more Christlike? This topic is very close to my heart. I love my Savior deeply. I am forever indebted to Him and will always be grateful for His love. The night before, I was feeling so lazy and thinking of all the excuses I can give so I wont teach. Sunday morning came and I still wasn't preparing my lesson. How ironic! Here I am professing my love for my Savior but not wanting to teach/talk about Him.

We arrived almost an hour before church because E had a meeting with the missionaries so I just stayed in the car going through the motions of somewhat preparing for my lesson but my mind just meandered on the great Christlike examples people have shown me throughout the years. This is a simple lesson; but it doesn't mean it's an easy one. I guess the simplicity of it is actually what makes it hard. I am reminded of the primary song I Am Trying To Be Like Jesus. All the simple instructions are listed there: 1. Love as He does 2. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought 3. Serve my neighbors... But as we grow older, why does it seem to be harder? No wonder we are commanded to be like a child - meek, submissive, easily entreated, madaling makipagbati (add whatever child-like characteristic you can think of to this list.) :)

On another note, I previously asked one of the members to draw a portrait of the Savior for us after seeing his drawings during a Sunday School lesson. He happily obliged and was so grateful to even be asked! Before sacrament started, he handed me the package, got so excited so I didn't wait for E and just opened it myself. I already know how it will look like because I chose the picture. I already know what mode he used (ball point pen) so there were really no surprises here. But when I opened it, I just lost it. haha (as always) and then teared up. It was so beautiful! It's the first time we're officially going to have a portrait of the Savior at home so I got excited, grateful as I remember His love and sacrifice for us, thankful to Bro. O. (artist) and perhaps the not-wanting-to-teach-about-Him part I also remembered and felt guilty for; these feelings came to me at all the same time! When Bro. O saw me, he cried too! haha It was a moment of joy and laughter at the same time since sacrament was going to start and here we were tearing up. I immediately wiped my tears, composed myself and took a picture of this astonishing work of art. I now understand why leaders suggest for us to always have a picture of the Savior and the temple so we can be reminded how we should act in His presence. It is a simple yet very effective way of keeping ourselves in check. (I was then able to use this portrait in my lesson.)

Day 2: So today, I am EXTRA grateful for our Savior's love

If you want to order an artwork, contact me for Bro. O's details.

30 Days of Happy: Day 1

(Photo from lds.org)

A day spent well at the temple today. We joined the rest of the ward in the 7:45 am session. I won't usually choose to wake up that early on a Saturday because like I mentioned to some friends, it is the ONLY day I get to sleep in. But today was different. It is one of the days I get to repay Him by going to His house and get a chance to converse with Him. As if I can actually repay Him. But that topic is for another post.

The first few minutes inside the temple, I already knew I made the right choice to be there. It is heaven on earth. I feel peace when I am inside. There's the silence. The smiles. The oneness. The beauty. The grandeur. Everything about the temple, I am in awe. Spiritual and physical. I am closest to Heavenly Father in the temple.

As we drove back, we were on the Bay Bridge as I realized how nice the weather was. When we came in the temple, it was all foggy and dark. Kind of the usual San Francisco weather but it was different when we got out. Maybe I was reading too much into it but I felt really grateful that the sun came out after a session. I even told E na nakikisama talaga yung weather kapag weekends. It has been like that for months. It's all gloomy on weekdays (kind of what we feel when we need to go to work) then bright and sunny on weekends (just like how we are when its time to play. haha). We rolled the windows down, felt the nice cool SF breeze, pumped the radio that was playing our favorite band (ano pa ba kundi OneRepublic) and I just stared blankly for a few seconds. Here I was sitting in the passenger seat , listening to my favorite band, going back to the city I really love, and I thought, I don't really have big problems do I?! (No, I still do!) But somehow there's an assurance that I can get past all of it. There are no dark days in my life. As was the promise given to me. As is the promise that the gospel gives everyone. Then I thought... why not document the things I am grateful for? Happy days like this! It will not only make me count my blessings and recognize them but will also help me focus on positivity everyday. Now I realize how important keeping a journal is. Hence, the beginning of 30 Days of Happy. :)

Why write?

I don't know why I suddenly had the urge to write. I haven't written anything for the longest time (aside from previous blog posts). Maybe the last one was even just for a school requirement and I graduated three years ago already. omaygas! Has it been that long?! As a matter of fact, I love writing. I love English courses in school. I actually loved writing assignments but of course not the deadlines. But now, what to write...? I have a couple of ideas written but I think I need to prepare more to provide better content than just writing what comes to my mind like what I am doing right now. I decided to go back to writing since

1. I need to practice my vocabulary and grammar skills because I think I am losing it! I speak Tagalog almost everywhere - work, church and at home. Yes, that's how big the Filipino population in the Bay Area is.
2. After writing this post, I felt good. Real good actually. I guess it was nice to finally let out what has been bothering me. I know I can always talk to E about it but the introvert in me still prefers to talk to, well, me.
3. Reading Facebook notes, blog posts from friends and even strangers gave me a rush of different kinds of emotions. In a good way, that is. I also started reading posts I did back when I had a Multiply account and it was both funny and pathetic (mostly the grammar) and I think I want to keep recreating those feelings. :)

Half way there.

Yesterday, a friend celebrated his 25th birthday with us. It wasn't really his birthday yet but one of the perks of being dayuhan is getting to spend your birthday twice! He was born in the Philippines so it was already the 8th there, therefore Facebook greetings are pouring in a day early.

We were gathered around the dinning table just talking about what we wanted to achieve when we hit the 25 mark. Most of us are in our mid to late twenties now, though I am still half way through my 25th year. Most of us talked about careers, travels, family and the likes and I actually remembered writing a post about aspirations I wanted to achieve but didn't get to the specifics so maybe I will share it here. Posting it publicly might even help keep me in check. I am usually my worst critic so I tend to focus more on what I wasn't able to do instead of celebrating the things I was able to accomplish. This is in no way bragging of what I've done but perhaps, one way of counting my blessings.

Goals:

1. Read more. So far, I've read five books since writing this goal. *sigh* I wish I have more time. Oh wait, I do have time! I just need to make sure I don't waste it. I am on the process of finishing 3 books right now. Do articles from Forbes, Inc. count? I think I spent countless hours reading through their sites already so might as well make it count! haha Can I also count books in The Book of Mormon? That easily gives me 11! Wooo!

2. Travel. Notice it doesn't really say Travel more since I haven't really traveled the US yet after graduating. What can we do?! We were poor college students back then. But since getting my first 'real' job this year, E and I were able to save enough to start. My birthday was spent in Seattle, 3rd anniversary in New York (one of my dream destinations! yay!) and E's birthday back in Hawaii. This Christmas will be spent in Chicago. I also made it a point to drive out of town whenever it is a long weekend. So far we've done Napa, Carmel and Yosemite. What other things can we do that is just a few miles away of SF?

3. Yoga

4. Got my driver's license. Finally!

5. Save an x amount of money. After reading a finance blog, I decided its never too early or too late to keep track and manage our finances so I became extra anal on where every dollar is spent. It's actually paying off! I am happy to report that we're on track on our goal to save x amount in x years. I think it is really important to put a deadline to any goal. It is easily measurable.

6. Finish the Book of Mormon. Again. 5/15. I still have three months so hopefully I do finish it! I just love reading and re-reading this book. Every time I do, I am reminded of the first time I finished it ten years ago (can't believe it's been that long!) and knowing that this book is indeed a book that came from God. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book. There are countless lessons I learn from it. Whatever question I have in life, there is an answer found in this book. One of my favorite scriptures is 2 Nephi 9:39: "...to be spiritually-minded is life eternal" or SMILE for short. :)

So far, these are just a few of the things I remember setting a goal for. I can't believe it has been eight months since I wrote these down on my journal. It was also just a few months ago when I heard about the passing of a college batch mate. This made me realize how precious our time really here in mortality is. No one, and I am stressing NO ONE thinks they will pass away that young. That's why we should make every second of it count! Not only for yourself but for the people around you. Make yourself a blessing to others and enjoy life while you're at it.

I AM the DREAMER.

One of my favorite quotes about partnership:

“‎There are dreamers and there are realists in this world, you think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. See the dreamers need the realists to keep the dreamers from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists? Well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.”

*Sino sa amin ang alin?*

Conflicted.

I can't seem to fathom what I really want. I want to do this. I want to do that. Let's live here. Let's live there. Don't get me wrong. I think I am a very grateful person. I almost always see the glass half full but I have never been so conflicted in my life before! It's as if the choices I am making right now are just made halfheartedly. Half my heart tries to see myself living and making a living here. Three quarters of it wants to go home. Yes, home is where the heart is blah blah but the Philippines is still what I call home. It's like I'm here, but I am not really here. ALL decisions I am making, eventually coming home is always a part of it. I am physically here but my mind wonders wanders how that decision affect going back. If I am coming home at all.

There are so many emotions running through my body right now. Should I/we go home? For good? When? Why? I think the last one is always the biggest question. Not mine though. That's a question people around me always ask. Why?! Bakit? Then they start throwing all the bad things about the Philippines. Trapik dun e! Sobrang crowded! Polusyon! Kurakot! All the more reason we should help! I think I've heard it all. After a few semesters in U.P., I think I actually heard more than what I should have. But even after all this, I love the Philippines. Its people. No, it's actually not because my family is there. Of course that's part of it but it's more than that. I love the Filipino people. I can't give you the why. I just do. Nakakuha yata ako ng nationalistic bug  just after attending a few sems in Peyups. If you can name one negative thing about Pinas, I can give you two positive ones. Yesterday, I watched the General Women's Conference and Pres. Uchtdorf mentioned that when we love God, we want to serve Him. It's the same for everything else we love. Our spouse, our family, our friends and for me, the Pinoys. How can I serve them when I'm here? *lupasay sa floor* LOL

One of the happiest experiences I've had was when we organized a fund raising event to benefit the typhoon Haiyan victims. I want to recreate that feeling. Wouldn't it be so great if what you do not only makes you happy but makes other people happy too? "You can do it there too!" Yes, I know. But I believe the Pinoys need it more. There are so many reasons as to why - politically, economically, physically and any -ally you can think of. I refuse to make any comparisons between Tate and Pinas here so let's just leave it at that for now.

So... what can I do while I am here? Every excuse I get, I use it to convince E that we should go home. Samahan pa ng pangungunsinti ng tatay ko. haha But seriously, what is the best way to make use of my time here? I don't even know how end this blog post. What to do next...?